Columnists

I admire shadow home secretary Diane Abbott for her achievements, a girl from a grammar school who gained entry to Cambridge to read history and for becoming an MP.

I was never a big fan of the comedian Bob Monkhouse. He was a Tory and supported Thatcher so that was enough to put me off him. However, he did crack a particularly memorable joke that I was compelled to think about after watching the turgid BBC Politics Scotland show yesterday.

It is apt that Boris Johnson is making a key note speech or leadership bid at a JCB digger factory today because this country is in a hole and we need to stop our useless politicians digging.

It's a crowded field with many candidates for the prize of Absurd American, but possibly the nation's top diplomat Mike Pompeo is a leading contender.

"The English country gentleman in full pursuit of the fox - The unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable".

I’ve been in Strasbourg this week and the good news for Brexiteers and Mrs May is that the atmosphere was redolent with fear. Fear of a no deal.

Wednesday's Vote of No Confidence in the UK government is likely to fail because Tory MPs - and many Labour ones too fear a left-wing, transformative Corbyn government (which raises the prospect of a change in UK foreign policy) more than anything.

So, the Trump administration is warning European companies they face punitive sanctions if they continue doing business with Russia's Nord Stream 2 gas project.

According to my new 2019 diary, it is only the 15th of January today yet according to the mood music from Westminster and the new resignation letters from the Tory Whips we are already in the last few days of May…

So, most members of the Westminster swamp are betraying, in various and devious ways, the will of the people and a bloke gets arrested for calling one of them a Nazi?!

As we head to Freedom Day over the past week more daggers have been plunged into democracy. We are seeing the last thrashes of anger, resentment, derangement, hatred and lies to stop Brexit.

Exactly two years ago today, January 11th 2016, my wee world was turned upside down. It was a pretty unspectacular Wednesday. The night before was wild with strong winds and rain. We have a glass globe light fixed to the outside side wall of our house. It had been there since we moved into the house in 2016.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck chances are it is a duck. Now replace duck with witch-hunt and you have the essence of the ‘sexual harassment’ case against Scotland’s former First Minister Alex Salmond.

Why is Britain spending billions of dollars on two new super aircraft carriers? That’s the question the state-owned BBC asks. However, don’t expect the British Bullsh**t Corporation to provide any insightful answers.

My first column of the New Year 2019 was delayed by a combination of gastronomic illness, the details of which are entirely inappropriate to share, and my wife Gail’s birthday.

China has not just made an historic landing on the moon. It has also given notice that the country is set to become a global leader in technology and science. And it is proving American trade disputes for the envious vandalism that they really are.

Sajid Javid has made a complete and utter Horlicks of the Dover illegal immigrant crisis.

He should have cut out the middleman and just had an image of himself on the London Eye sticking two fingers up to the British public. It would have been his biggest selfie ever and would have clearly illustrated his utter contempt for the democratic will of the people.

At the start of the year, you probably thought: ‘ Russophobia simply can’t get any worse’. But guess what? It did. 2018 was the year that the Russophobes went full-scale Monty Python and Ministry of Silly Walks. Let's take a look back of what we’ve been through the past twelve months.

Today I am excited, nervous, pensive but optimistic. Confident but not conceited. My first thirty three columns have been about politics but my thirty fourth will be about my other passion in life, football and the famous Glasgow Celtic.