Saturday Night Live nailed the first daughter with a faux perfume ad for "Complicit." Scarlett Johansson plays the president's offspring and adviser. She strolls dreamily into a hazy, gold ballroom to start the ad, as a narrator intones, "When she walks into a room, all eyes are on her."
"She's Ivanka," the narrator says. "And a woman like her deserves a fragrance all her own. A scent made just for her. Because she's beautiful. She's powerful. She's… complicit."
Ivanka, "knows what she's doing," the narrator explains, before repeating "complicit."
"She doesn't crave the spotlight, but we see her. Oh, how we see her," the ad continues, as Ivanka applies lipstick in a mirror. The reflection? Alec Baldwin's Trump, rubbing color on his own pursed puss.
SNL also takes aim at Ivanka's much-claimed but hard-to-find advocacy for women. "A feminist. A champion. An advocate for women," we are told, as characters onscreen furrow their brows. "But, like, how?"
(To be fair, given that Ivanka's called her father a feminist, perhaps she doesn't know what one is. After all, even her own father seems to value the great entrepreneur Ivanka primarily for her beauty.)
The narrator continues: "She's loyal. Devoted. Probably should have bounced after that whole Access Hollywood bus thing" — a reference to the infamous "grab ‘em by the pussy" tape.
SNL doesn't point out that she also perhaps could have bounced after her dad said women who accused him of assault were too unattractive to rape, or after he suggested Fox News host Megyn Kelly was tough on him because she was on her period, or even when her own mother said Trump made her feel "violated." But there's only so much time in one fake commercial.
Ivanka's no dummy, SNL insists, nor just a loving daughter. She's a villain, too. She's positioned herself a "soft-focus feminist," great for photo opportunities and bland statements like "Women's Day is every day" on her pink-themed Twitter feed.
Ivanka knows where her bread is buttered. And Ivanka, we've got your number.
"Complicit: The fragrance for the woman who could stop all of this," our narrator breathes, "but won't."