Earlier this week, Str8vaping in Portland, Oregon, experienced a one-of-a-kind robbery when a masked man attempted to make off with shop's cash by brandishing a knife and sheepishly ordering the owner to "open up the register [and] put all the money in a bag."
"F*ck you dude," the unarmed owner replied as he made his way around the counter. "F*ck you!"
"You wanna f*ck with me, dude?" questioned the shop owner, after the meek would-be crook didn't respond.
"No, I don't want to f*ck with you," retorted the armed but timid not-thief as he gently raised his hand and weapon to surrender before leaving the shop.
Clearly having more f's to give out, the shop owner made sure to get his point across as he followed the masked man out, repeating, "you better f*cking run, dude."
Although Str8vaping has been the victim of burglary in the past, this was their first brush with an attempted robbery. According to the shop's Facebook page, they are still working with local law enforcement to find the "punk" who has allegedly been hitting stores across Portland.