The woman, who had fallen in love with the man many years before, decided that in order to celebrate their anniversary, they would go camping. But not just camping in any old woods, no, they were going to go camping in one place in particular – Yellowstone National Park. America’s first national park, established in 1871, has never been commercially developed and for the most part, is exactly as it was when it first came into being, a wild area filled with natural beauty.
Now, the couple had been together for a very long time and the woman had given the man the best years of her life. But recently, she discovered that he was cheating on her with someone younger. With this in mind, the woman decided that one way or another, she was going to put an end to it.
She did a little research, booked the plane flights, rented a car and packed their bags with camping gear. The husband, upon hearing the news, was excited, since he was an avid fisherman, and everyone who knows fishing knows that fishing in Yellowstone is excellent, albeit catch and release. The day came; they boarded the plane, flew to Idaho Falls, and drove the rest of the way.
The first stop on the agenda was a remote campground in the Idaho section of the park. Leaving the car, and hiking in to the forest, they found the rustic campground, with a sign warning to not feed the bears. They set up the tent, and lit a campfire. As the sun was setting, the woman turned to the man and said, “It’s either her or me. What is your choice?” The man, taken aback, slowly realized what was she was talking about, and in a flash of anger, shouted, “her!” The woman, disappointed but well prepared, pulled out a gun, and shot the man dead. Then, she sat down, finished her meal and went to sleep.
When she woke up, she packed up her things, and left the dead man’s body where it had fallen. In a hint of irony, she thought “Maybe the bears will get him”. She reached the car, drove back to the city, walked in to the cop shop, and told them what she did. The sergeant at the desk took her statement and her contact info and filed a report. The woman thanked him and left, boarded her plane, and returned back to her new life. So, what just happened?
So, as it turns out, there is a place in America where it is possible to commit the perfect crime and get away with it. And no, we don’t mean Washington DC, since A) that would be too easy and B) everyone knows you first have to be elected to office to legally get away with crimes. No, this is a real place, and was recently covered in several online blogs, although a University Professor specializing in constitutional law discovered it some years ago.
Vice explained it by writing – “Like all national parks, Yellowstone is federal land. Portions of it fall in Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming, but Congress placed the entire park in Wyoming's federal district. It's the only federal court district in the country that crosses state lines.” Bla bla bla, right? But, here is where it gets interesting.
The article noted – “… Article III of the Constitution requires federal criminal trials to be held in the state in which the crime was committed. And the Sixth Amendment entitles a federal criminal defendant to a trial by jurors living in the state and district where the crime was committed. But if someone committed a crime in the uninhabited Idaho portion of Yellowstone ….it would be impossible to form a jury. And being federal land, the state would have no jurisdiction. Here was a clear constitutional provision enabling criminal immunity in 50 square miles of America's oldest national park.” Bada bing, bada boom. Now, with this in mind, if someone asks you to go camping in Idaho, you better ask yourself, “Is this person angry with me for any reason?” And while we are mulling over this ambiguous grey area, let’s take a look at another curious story that took place this week.
Never far from the spotlight, and usually for all the wrong reasons, Hillary Clinton has found herself once again in the headlines, as Politico noted – “Bill Clinton's staff used a decades-old federal government program, originally created to keep former presidents out of the poorhouse, to subsidize his family’s foundation and an associated business, and to support his wife’s private email server.” That’s right. Slick Willy has seemingly once again split hairs to come out on top.
The article continued by noting-“Taxpayer cash was used to buy IT equipment – including servers – housed at the Clinton Foundation, and also to supplement the pay and benefits of several aides now at the center of the email and cash-for-access scandals dogging Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.” And what is this cash-for-access scandal?
WND sums it by writing – “The Clinton Foundation has been under scrutiny during the presidential campaign for allegations that the Clintons have personal profited from the charity and that many prominent donors, particularly foreigners, have given millions of dollars with the expectation it would provide access to the secretary of state.” That’s right. Cash-for-access is apparently a new media take on the old Chicago saying- “Pay to play”, but the idea is still the same. Money is exchanged in return for a future favor. Now, Politico notes that – “This investigation… does not reveal anything illegal (*ed — yet). But it does offer fresh evidence of how the Clintons blurred the line between their nonprofit foundation, Hillary Clinton’s State Department, and the business dealings of Bill Clinton and the couple’s aides.” That’s right. Nothing to see here, dear citizen, just politics as usual.
Slightly out of context, but accurate nonetheless, the constitutional law professor who discovered the Yellowstone oddity noted that – “I naïvely thought that once Congress found out about this, they'd think it was a problem worth fixing and they'd fix it. But nothing happens in Washington just because it's a good idea."
So, what do you think dear listeners – “Is this how to get away with the perfect crime?”