Freelance writer from Melbourne Michelle Andrews has shared her experience of wearing a new, daring beach outfit, a V-string, somewhere else other than in a glamorous photo shooting set on the website news.com.au. The woman tried to enjoy a sunny Australian summer day on a beach while wearing this very tiny $39.95-a-piece bottom by the local brand Beginning Boutique, which earlier turned into a social media hit that made users ask themselves whether it would be appropriate to wear publicly.
The results of Andrews’ test might disappoint fashionistas who had hoped to shine bright by wearing a V-string covering as little as possible of a woman’s private parts.
Preparations for showing up publicly in this tiny swimwear would be demanding. According to the daring pioneer, “she would risk looking like Borat’s sister” without a consistent hair removal plan.
“Once you factor in the necessary 10 rounds of laser hair removal (about $450) and Barbie-inspired labiaplasty (about $5000), you’ll be looking at about $5489.95 for the complete look”, the writer counted, suggesting that one should also keep the possibility of a fine for public nudity in mind.
The beach experience turned out to be challenging, too. First, walking was painful, forcing her to shuffle like a penguin.
“Whenever I stretched one leg out in front of the other, the bikini kind of made a dash for my internal organs. It feels like … flossing. For your insides”.
Sitting hurt and felt uncomfortable, either, as she “felt a breeze hit a place where breeze never belongs” and had to cover her lady parts with miscellaneous items and her head with a cap, partly “not to bring shame upon her family”.
At least all these troubles were not in vain, as some praised the selfless string-researcher.
Those sanitary belts sure have changed a lot since the 1920's. pic.twitter.com/mweZP32jPW— Cathy Crawley (@cathy_crawley) 14 января 2019 г.
The brand’s V-string turned into an Internet sensation. After a picture of a model wearing the bikini bottom while sitting with her legs spread apart was published on their Facebook page, it garnered a lot of sarcastic attention, with over 400,000 comments featuring very particular wordplay, hilariously graphic references and all sorts of bawdy humour.