That's right, techies have invented the first smart condom, which, according to distributor British Condoms, can give users measurements of their girth and average skin temperature, as well as calculate calories they've burned and record details about their lovemaking skills, including speed of thrusts and even average velocity of thrusts.
The device is designed to sit at the base of the penis over a condom, where it will use "nano-chip and sensors" to measure and record details of the session. After sucking up the data, it will then be transferred to the user's smartphone via Bluetooth. The owner can then "share their recent data with friends, or, indeed the world." Lovely.
"It's truly the next step in wearable tech," John Simmons, a spokesperson for British Condoms, told Metro. "We believe we have pioneered a product that will not only bring an extra element of fun into the bedroom, but will also help indicate potential STI's present as well as prevent condom slippage, a leading cause of unplanned pregnancy in the UK."
According to reports, the device will be able to detect sexually transmitted infections such as chlamydia and syphilis.
Not up for sale until January 2018 in the UK, the company told the outlet that roughly 900,000 people have already expressed interest, as many buyers have pre-registered for the invention.
"It's truly a revolutionary day," said Adam Leverson, lead engineer on the i.Con project. "Not only have we innovated the world's first Smart Condom Ring that'll measure pretty much every aspect of performance in the bedroom, but now I'm pleased to confirm that it will also have built-in indicators to alert the users to any potential STI's present."
For added effects, the company also noted that the smart condom even lights up, Metro reported.
Though netizens have dubbed it a "spy condom," reactions within the Twitterverse have been mixed ever since news first broke on the device early on in the year.
— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) March 3, 2017
— young bodega cat (@SamCaminiti) March 2, 2017
Offered with a one year warranty, the new bedroom gadget is priced at roughly $81, but that's not including shipping charges.