The Maybot (Cabinet) Shuffle
UK Prime Minister Theresa May popularized the word "cringeworthy" after cheerleading for post-Brexit trade partnerships across South Africa, Kenya, and Nigeria in late August, to the chagrin (and schadenfreude) of African leaders.
Her rusty political twerking, internationally recognised as the "Maybot", garnered prompt backlash on social media, with Brits grinding their teeth in humiliation at the shameless prime minister.
READ MORE: May Dances to EU Tune
Taking center stage at the annual Conservative Party conference in Birmingham, our Dancing Queen made 2018 the year where the reputations of a 70s Swedish disco band and the world's fifth largest economy were forever tarnished by a dance resembling a bout of itchy rigor mortis.
The prime minister's song-and-dance shuffle was not enough to stop her Cabinet from feeling the rhythm, as seven key officials resigned in 24 hours following the release of May's beleaguered Brexit draft deal in mid-November.
Resignations included key Brexit secretary Dominic Raab and minister Suella Braverman, prompting a major Cabinet reshuffle and adding record levels of uncertainty into Britain's Brexit future.
Skripal Poisonings and Ongoing UK-Russia Diplomatic Row
Former intelligence officer Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia were found unconscious on a park bench in Salisbury, in what appeared to be a routine case of food poisoning from dining at Zizzi's.
British authorities immediately determined "with a high degree of certainty" that the Kremlin had used military-grade nerve agent A-234, known as Novichok, to attack a useless intelligence asset and undermine British "democracy", as well sabotage its own reputation as hosts of the 2018 World Cup.
Despite Porton Down's convenient proximity to the crime, leaders from 28 countries, including the UK, US, Germany, and France nodded their heads in agreement to collectively expel 153 Russian diplomats without presenting evidence, naming suspects or explaining the whereabouts of the victims.
In a bizarre twist of events, the UK Crown Prosecution Service charged in abstentia two Russian nationals — Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov — with the Salisbury and Amesbury poisonings, with UK finger-wagging platform Bellingcat accusing the pair of using aliases.
In an exclusive interview with RT, the pair said they were in the fitness industry and booked a last-minute flight to England, bypassing England's "crowned jewel" London to visit sleepy Salisbury and its 123-metre-tall Cathedral.
Prince Harry of Wales and Meghan Markle Tie the Knot
There's no better way to caption the marriage between the US and UK than with 2018's hottest newlyweds, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
The second son of Prince Charles and the former Suits star tied the knot at St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle on 19 May, with wedding costs at roughly £32 million. Notwithstanding £2-4 million in security costs and £2.6 million to clean the city. During austerity. And Brexit. And public service cuts.
Plebeians remained off the premises, hoping to catch a glimpse of the unconventional duo as they held their "low-key" wedding ceremony. The pair, now known as Marry (how convenient) asked guests to contribute to a select list of local charities advocating worthy causes, only to continue the tradition of modern-day serfdom under the backdrop of Brexit. And they lived happily ever after.
An American President in London, Trump Baby Blimp
What better way to welcome the all-powerful US president to the UK than by creating man-child in his image? As Brits are known for their courtesy and helpfulness, US President Donald Trump found his way to Downing Street by following his 6 metre (20ft) tall doppelganger.
Known as the Trump Baby Blimp, Londoners gathered around Matt Bonner's brainchild at Parliament Square, which resembled an angry basketball with a yellow toupee, diapers and a mobile (cell phone in Yankee-speak).
After much debate with the Greater London Authority and Scotland Yard, London Mayor Sadiq Khan approved the blimp's maiden voyage, which received backlash from British activist Yanny Bruere who created his own inflatable version of the mayor in protest.
The Trump blimp was financed via crowdfunding and gained rock star status, touring with President Trump in Scotland, Buenos Aires, Paris across the US, and even performed alongside US rock band Pearl Jam at the O2 Arena in London.
World Cup, or the "Defeat at Winterfell"
In an ominous sign of things to come, England's football team suffered a humiliating defeat by Belgium, losing their 3rd place position at the Cup and enduring endless Brexit jokes for months to come.
Despite an initial strong performance and several key victories, including a 6-1 win against Panama, 4-3 match against Colombia on penalties and a crushing 2-0 blow to Sweden, England advanced to the semi-finals in Moscow only for Croatia to serve some Balkan brutality in a 2-1 loss in overtime. This passed the English onto Belgium, who were outpaced 2-0 in St Petersburg, knocking London down to fourth place faster than Brazilian forward Neymar Jr. faking his own death on the field.
UK Secretary of Defence Gavin Williamson, who infamously told the entire Russian government to "go away and shut up", along with British media and Foreign Commonwealth Office reports, piggybacked on the Salisbury and Amesbury poisonings to deter Brits from attending the 2018 World Cup, but failed miserably.
Moscow scored extra points with British football fans, with many deeply impressed by Russia's level of security, cleanliness, and hospitality. "The stereotype of unfriendly and intimidating — not there, not there anywhere, it's a wonderful country", one avid Englishman told Sputnik.
Remember, Remember, The 5th of November
Love him or hate him, Stephen Christopher Yaxley-Lennon, or Tommy Robinson is a household name throughout Britain. His opponents accuse him of career Muslim bashing, but his supporters label the former English Defence League (EDL) leader as a champion for native Brits in a dysfunctional, overly PC government.
Mr Robinson was arrested and charged with breaching the peace in May for live streaming footage from the Huddersfield grooming gang trial outside Leeds Crown Court. But the move backfired, with Robinson's lawyer contesting the charges as "unclear" and Judge Nicholas Hilliard QC unconsciously releasing Mr Robinson on bail in November — the same day as the infamous Gunpowder Treason Plot. Rest assured, the ruling ignited a power-keg of nationalist sentiment across the country.
The martyr received substantial support from "comrades", including UKIP leader Gerrard Batten, who later offered him an advisory role, and numerous far-right parties across continental Europe such as Alternative for Germany and Dutch Freedom Party leader Geert Wilders.
Over 500,000 advocates signed an online petition in his defence, and, following his release, Robinson would move on to defending British troops and stopping the "treacherous and treasonous" rollback of the 2016 Brexit referendum.
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