20:17 GMT05 March 2021
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    Boris Johnson’s snail-paced roadmap out of the pandemic reminds me of my childhood trips to Cornwall.

    My Dad used to write out the route on the back of a cereal packet. He didn’t need 60 pages to state the blooming obvious that the journey was going to be long, tortuous and uncomfortable and full of surprises and hold-ups.

    Just like Boris, Dad had all the significant towns and junctions written down including where the potential hold-ups would be.

    This of course was in the days before the M5 and Sat Nav.

    Dad also always said that the journey would take a minimum of 12 hours but it would depend on the traffic, hold-ups, roadwork and ‘comfort stops.’ Sounds familiar?!

    We used to cram into my dad’s Austin A40 and the torture would begin.

    All of us would be dreaming of the freedom of Harlyn Bay, and fish and chips in a crowded and packed Padstow.

    Just like Boris, we believed that “There is light ahead, leading us to a spring and the summer, which I think will be seasons of hope, looking and feeling incomparably better for us all and from which we will not go back.’

    However, once in the car with my Dad the reality of the journey would begin!

    Dad would chain smoke like a Beagle in a laboratory whilst we waited for my younger brother to puke in the back (he still only needs to look at a copy of Top Gear Magazine to get travel sick) and we would be on the road to nowhere.

    My mum would bark out the navigation instructions to my Dad who was often busy doing that one-armed swing into the back of the car whilst shouting to us “will you shut the hell up”.

    A full-scale row would be in full flow before we even reached Stratford-upon-Avon!

    Happy Days!

    Cornwell is still a hell of a long journey, even with the M5, especially when everyone is trying to get there for their summer holidays (remember them?) but at least with the M5 there is almost a direct route and now with Sat Nav problems can be avoided.

    In essence, there is almost a ‘route one’ way of getting to Cornwall and no one would dream of taking the old ‘scenic route’ unless they were mad.

    Covid ‘Route One’ is the vaccination and the Covid Passport.

    It’s patently obvious that Covid passports for foreign travel are going to happen, whether the looney libertarian lemmings want it or not. Every country’s first job is to protect their own citizens so it will be a case of no jab, no holidays in the sun from now on for us Brits.

    The Government also seem to be scared of the Sun and every other newspaper to introduce Covid passports domestically for jobs, entry into sports grounds, cinemas and pubs in the UK when it is clear to me this would be the fastest way to get things moving again.

    Only two weeks ago, vaccination Minister Nadhim Zahawii said passports were ‘wrong’ and ‘discriminatory’ but now Boris has ordered a review into whether they could play a role in reopening our economy.’

    Boris has obviously realised that the virus is non-discriminatory and can catch anyone and everyone but again he is moving at the pace of our family tortoise on the first day out of hibernation.

    He has renamed the passports as Covid 19 certificates; but forget what they’re called and forget the review which won’t report until June - Boris just needs to get a move on and introduce them now.

    Israel has already introduced a similar scheme which will allow people to attend gyms and go to big social and cultural events, why can’t we?

    But Boris is again dithering and delaying - worrying, as he put it yesterday, of being  ‘mindful of the many concerns surrounding exclusion, discrimination and privacy.’ 

    Give Over Boris!

    That’s the political equivalent of my family getting stuck behind an old lady in Devon who is driving her Morris Minor at the pace of a sloth.

    The virus is spreading at the speed of a Ferrari; there is no time for smooth gear changes. Take control (remember that slogan Boris?) and steer us in the right direction.

    If people refuse to take the vaccine unless they have a genuine medical exemption then they are discriminating against themselves, so why should the rest of us remain locked up for their stupidity?

    If there’s a problem with some members of the BAME community refusing to get vaccinated through fear then put more money and resources into countering the liars and fake news spreaders in their community.

    Already younger people are bleating that the introduction of passports would be discriminatory against them as they are at the bottom of the list for vaccinations. Give me strength!

    Some self-appointed leaders of the pub industry are also condemning the idea on Twitter but don’t seem to have any other suggestion apart from just opening up the boozers and letting us take the risk of drinking in their last chance saloon.

    I don’t know about a roadmap out of Covid, all we really need to know is who is driving the blooming car.

    We also need all the backseat drivers on all sides of the argument to shut the hell up. Likewise, the ‘children’ in the press conference (journalists and backbench MPs) need to stop asking “when are we going to get there, Dad?

    The absolute bottom line is that ignorance, fear, self-interest and stupidity should not be stopping us from getting to our destination whether that is Cornwall, the pub, the cinema, theatre or the football ground.

    Give us a passport, Boris, and let us reclaim our freedom.

    The views and opinions expressed in the article do not necessarily reflect those of Sputnik.

    Tags:
    roadmap, vaccine, lockdown, COVID-19, Boris Johnson, United Kingdom
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