I Hate Glastonbury!

© AFP 2023 / OLI SCARFFRevellers cheer as Australian singer Kylie performs at the Glastonbury Festival of Music and Performing Arts on Worthy Farm near the village of Pilton in Somerset, South West England, on June 30, 2019
Revellers cheer as Australian singer Kylie performs at the Glastonbury Festival of Music and Performing Arts on Worthy Farm near the village of Pilton in Somerset, South West England, on June 30, 2019 - Sputnik International
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I hate the Glastonbury Festival or ‘Glasto’ as the fans have now christened it.

I hate every single element of this three-day celebration of virtue signalling and hypocrisy. Usually, I can take delight in the fact that these eco-warriors get rained on all weekend and luxuriate in a sea of mud and their own collective excrement, hopefully resulting in trench foot or some other terrible ailment.

Unfortunately, for me, the sun shone all week this year. Emma Thompson must have been bending over!

I hate Glasto because it is just another excuse for the BBC to send too many staff to cover an event that we the taxpayer should not be supporting via our licence fee. It’s not just the staff who are “working” at Glasto but the Bloated Broadcasting Corporation treat this weekend as a virtual incentive scheme with the number of freebies they dish out.

The BBC effectively use it as a three-day propaganda vehicle to peddle their Common Purpose, Cultural Marxist view of how Britain should be.

Last “Glasto” they were almost orgasmic when Comrade Corbyn was wheeled out and the crowd chanted his name. This year they would have needed a cold shower if they could find one when the new thug of the establishment Stormzy (real name Michael) got the crowd to chant “f*** Boris”.

As per usual the BBC transmitted this clear propaganda and didn’t mute it, as the message Stormzy was giving was straight from their hymn sheet. They even stated before the ‘performance’ that they would not censor Stormzy (Michael) when he ‘sung” ‘F*** the government and f*** Boris.’

He, of course, went much further when he got on stage but still, they did not mute him. I wonder why?

Ever since Stormzy (Michael) blamed Theresa May at the Brits for the Grenfell fire this man has been hailed as the saviour of our culture. God help us!

Comrade Corbyn tweeted:

​Please pass me the sick bucket, the virtue signalling is reaching new nauseous heights.

Perhaps instead of wearing a stab vest with the Union flag on it Stormzy (Michael) and his pal, Corbyn and indeed the useless Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, could begin to signal that the murders have to stop in London.

As they were all celebrating Stormzy’s ‘cultural impact’ more families were facing the real impact of seeing their loved ones on the mortuary slab including a pregnant Mum and her unborn child.

But hey I can’t get too worked up about a 25-year-old millionaire rock and roll or ‘Grime’ star giving it large in a field in Somerset as we were all young once!

My anger is directed at the publicly funded Biased Broadcasting Corporation and the anti-Semite Labour party using him as the latest weapon in their fight against Brexit and any sense of traditional family values. Where’s Mr Putin when you need him and I am not joking!

I’ve always thought it's funny that Glasto is held in a place called Worthy Farm because the people who organise it and the people who attend it all think they are much worthier than you and I.

These idiots are so stupid that they are willing to pay over £250 in advance, without knowing who the acts are, for the privilege of sitting in a field trying to spot who the band actually are, over a tide of unwashed scruffy Herbert’s who are all convinced that they are the ‘counter-culture’.

They parade and flaunt their eco-credentials and bleat about saving the planet for four days in between rolling spliffs and drinking beer that tastes like piss and then they all trot off back to their comfortable lifestyles and leave behind their plastic and rubbish.

This year was meant to be different. The organisers had pledged that Glasto was going to be plastic free but like all great worthy ideas, the politically correct prats hadn’t thought through the scheme. So, by day 2, the snowflakes were melting and couldn’t get their hands on enough water as the socialist planners hadn’t installed enough taps!

This fiasco is surely a nightmare vision of what life in the UK would be like under a Corbyn Labour Government not so much a winter of discontent but a bloody summer of discontent too.

The snowflakes had to queue for water and they were getting angry, really angry. They were nearly ‘tearing a tissue’ or ‘crushing a grape’ and of course, Mummy wasn’t there to wipe their butts after they had used the overflowing toilets.

Through my laughter at their plight, I found it ironic that 75 years ago boys were laying down their lives for these spoilt brats! “Ooh, I had to wait 40 minutes to fill my bottle!” Was I the only one in the UK thinking, “Get an effing life please and get out of mine’?

David Attenborough was even wheeled out to give his usual passionate speech about climate change and the BBC panned to ‘worthies’ at Worthy farm crying in the audience.

He was listened to in silence. However, the reverence to him and his message didn’t last too long because as the smelly virtue signallers left their spiritual home of Worthy Farm it was evident that they had left an ocean of plastic behind, as per usual.

No surprise really, as that is exactly what happened when Khan allowed the Climate Extinction mob to take over central London for weeks a few months back.

Just where is that pink boat when you need it? Or little pig-tailed Greta or even the Grand Dame of Climate change Emma (I fly first class darling) Thompson when you need them?

The stench of the hypocrisy of these worthies, of Worthy farm, is nearly as nauseating as their body odour as Mummy and Daddy pick them up from the train station on their return in their Range Rover. Keep your feet off the leather seats, darling, please!

I expressed a few of these views on Twitter over the weekend and the usual suspects attacked me. No doubt from the farm as none of them would have left their mobile at home. It was essential to get their snaps of Kylie! Give me strength!

One woman on Twitter said, “Stormzy is speaking for and to a generation, you will never understand. They are living in a world you are so far removed from that you have to criticise an insanely talented 25yr old man”

Yes, love, that’s right I don’t understand the younger generation.

Yes, I was never young. It must just have been a nightmare the fact that when I was young I was a punk rocker and then a massive fan of Two Tone. It must have been a recurring dream that I have been to Glastonbury at least three times in my youth, mostly before it turned in to the corporate sponsor led, advertising, virtue signalling, propaganda spewing, lefty event it is today at £250 quid a pop.

Also, Petal, how many of ‘the generation Stormzy (Michael) is speaking for and to’, would have been able to afford the cost of the ticket?

Also, to be frank, I don’t really wish to understand the underclass that Stormzy (Michael) represents, in fact, I want to, ‘understand less and condemn more’ the morons who revel in machismo, gun toting, homophobic ranting and killing.

However, what really gets my goat is the simple fact that if these virtue signalling snowflakes just said, look we want to go to a field in Somerset get off our heads on drink and drugs and watch a few bands and maybe get laid, I wouldn’t have a problem with them. However, when they and the leader of the opposition try to turn rock n roll into some kind of spiritual nirvana of what our great country could or should be that is when I have to object.

Plus is it because. ‘I is gammon’ that I actually think Rock and roll is much better watched and listened to in a sweaty cub rather than in a field where you can only see who the band is on a TV screen?

This liberal snowflake revolution is certainly being televised!

The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Sputnik.

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