A job where you are also free to have another job at the same time and then to cap it all you get a pay rise? No? Well, clearly you have never been an MP then.
The self-serving pigs of Westminster have just pocketed an above-inflation rise of 2.7 percent rise which is more than our Coppers got.
It is outrageous, completely outrageous that MPs have just got a £2000 pay rise when they have just betrayed our country over Brexit.
With this pay rise, they have united both the unions and Big Business leaders in anger.
John Longworth, former director general of the British Chambers of Commerce said, "It's the most ridiculous thing. Anyone in the private sector would be paid by performance. The people voted to leave, and they haven't delivered it."
Mark Serwotka from the Public and Commercial Services union, said: "It is an outrage that MPs are rewarding themselves with an above-inflation pay rise."
If any of them had any morals or ethics or even a sense of duty they would publicly refuse to accept this increase or at the risk of upsetting the arch hypocrite David Lammy, they would give it to Comic Relief.
Lammy is an absolute fool and his comments that Stacy Dooley was a "White saviour" were both offensive and racist. Imagine if the boot had been on the other foot and it was a white person talking about a black one in these terms?
In the past I have expressed doubts about some celebs using events like Comic Relief and Children in need to bolster their flagging careers but how could that accusation be levelled at this young white working class woman. She is at the top of her game making groundbreaking documentaries and is fast becoming the nation's sweetheart by winning Strictly?
I genuinely believe that Stacey, just like Sir Lenny Henry, just wanted to help and what is wrong with that?
It is hard to disagree with Stacey's retort on Twitter, "David, is the issue with me being white? (Genuine question)… because if that's the case, you could always go over there and try to raise awareness?"
Of course, it has everything to do with you being white Stacey. You are just a pawn in Lammy's race-baiting game.
At a time like this, where we are constantly being told the country is divided and racism is growing, how does Lammy's silly sixth form comments on Imperialism do anything to help the situation? The answer is they do not, they actually inflame the situation. I wonder when Twitter will ban David Lammy for spreading hate?
Meanwhile, would he prefer it if we "Honkys" kept our hands in our pockets or spent all our hard-earned cash on charity projects in the UK?
That's another problem with Lammy's argument; he sees it only in terms of black and white. The UK is a multi-racial society and it is not only whites who donate or enjoy Comic Relief is it Mr Lammy?
However, many Brits, of all colours, might agree with David Lammy and say charity should begin at home. Perhaps he would like us to cut our foreign aid budget too instead of ringfencing over £12 BILLION a year and spend that money on our own homeless, our pensioners and our veterans of all colours.
You see this is the problem with race baiters on both sides by targeting both people like Stacey who is just trying to do her bit and also going for the headlines, it makes people revert to their entrenched positions and we never have the real debate.
Of course, our children need to be taught about Imperialism, in all its gore and glory, slavery, black history and of course we need to live in a society where racism is condemned but David you need to calm down dear and stop playing to the gallery.
Your inflammatory remarks will also have a chilling effect on other big-name stars getting involved and thus the amount raised will fall. Because I am sorry David, most people do watch and donate because of the names who are on the show and I doubt that they will want to watch whoever is the big name on TV in Kenya or Nigeria instead.
I also guess that the child who is suffering with dysentery or has no clean water does not give a fig where the cash comes from to make her better or educate her either.
David, Comic Relief is all about the comedy and the charity and I am afraid you have just proved yourself to be the biggest clown in the UK so now will you please shut up?
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Sputnik.