13:15 GMT28 July 2021
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    It remains unclear whether the Chinese government just stopped everybody else from viewing cutting edge "food porn," or whether they gave government officials an excuse for watching it on the job.

    On Monday, China’s state-owned CCTV broadcast station announced a ban on live-streaming the eroticized consumption of bananas. The move comes as part of President Xi Jinping’s effort to "rehabilitate" his country’s "cyber-ecology."

    Last year, Xi Jinping called for action to promote "civilized behavior" on China’s heavily controlled Internet during a speech at the Communist Party Summit.

    CCTV said the move to ban live-streamed consumption of the elongated, nutrient-rich fruit applies to attractive young female presenters. The presenters have also been banned from wearing miniskirts and revealing tops.

    Live-streaming platforms Douyu, Panda.tv, and YY must now monitor their output for any hint of illicit fruit consumption, begging the question whether their employees will be in violation of the law by scouring the Chinese web for potassium-enriched seduction.

    The measure cracks down on China’s fastest growing business sector, an explosion in live-stream fetishism. YY, the market leader, has more than 120 million active users and reported revenues of just under the equivalent of $1 billion.

    The audience for live streams is, unsurprisingly, almost entirely male. Clients tune in to watch women play drums, put on makeup, sing, dance, cook, dine, take care of their skin, and, until recently, eat bananas.

    Xi Jinping says that the decision to censor content is necessary to ensure that the internet remains "an important carrier to spread mankind’s fine cultures and promote positive energy."

    Social media pundits reacted instantly, spreading their version of fine culture and positive energy, calling for an immediate uptick in cucumber consumption and an fast surge for carrot kissing.

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    Tags:
    sexy, seductive, pornography, food porn, banana, YY, Panda.tv, Douyu, Chinese Communist Party, CCTV, Xi Jinping, China
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