Distillation of the Black Sea
The Black Sea borders on Russia in the South. It is so rich in hydrogen sulfide that nothing can live in it at depths of more than 150-200 meters. But the Black Sea has basins deeper than 2,000 meters. Nikolay Staroverov from Moscow came up with a brilliant idea how to combat the high levels of hydrogen sulfide and let the sea creatures swim as deep as they like.
"We take a big pipe, put it into the depth of the Sea and pump up water that goes to a distillation plant. Before the distillation, we splash water in tiny streams, and the hydrogen sulfide evaporates. We burn the gas and get sulfuric acid which is very useful. When we burn the gas, we also get energy for heating our houses. As you can see, there are some great benefits we can get out if it."
Even better, the author of patent No. 2570443 claims that the invention has an efficiency of over 100%. Forget that you learnt at school that efficiency is never over 100%, this guy is a bona fide genius.
Needle Therapy for Sheep
Scientists from Oryol State Agricultural University patented needle therapy for sheep. Why sheep? Because humans, cattle, pigs, and dogs have already been patented by someone else. Sheep were vacant and got patent No. 2570325.
Equal Rights in Being Served with Soup
When lots of people are served with soup from a single pot, some of them inevitably get thicker soup, while others get more broth. Doesn't this just drive you mad? Experts from St. Petersburg Military-Medical Academy thought long and hard, and came to the conclusion that this inequality has a negative impact on people’s mood, team relations and brings down work productivity.
But they came up with a solution to save the day. They invented special panels to install on the bottom of soup pots. The panels contain special holes, and when air is pushed into them they make bubbles. The bubbles mix the soup. The mood gets better, relations are repaired, and productivity rises. Brilliant! Patent No. 2570492.
How to Hide From Drones
Our enemies spare no trouble or expense when spying on us, and now most of it is done by drones. They fly everywhere and map our secret facilities. How can we protect ourselves? Specialists from the Penza branch of General of the Army A. V. Khrulev Military Academy for Logistics know how.
The trick is simple. We just make a film of the empty territory, before any tanks arrive or buildings are constructed. When a computer figures out that an enemy drone is approaching, it screens the video directly onto the secret object which the drone is looking at. Just like a movie projector. The drone then films a picture of an empty place. Patent No. 2571534.
Let’s Relieve Mars From Surpluses of Oxygen!
Ordinary people in Russia think about dangers from space too. For example, Alexander Popov from Arkhangelsk discovered how to relieve Mars from its surplus of oxygen. In fact, there is almost no oxygen in the atmosphere of this planet, and it only makes only 0.13% of the atmosphere. But this fact did not confuse the inventor, who formulated his somewhat strange idea as following.
"When the first settlers go to Mars, they will build a protective dome and plant trees inside of it. And these trees will make lots of oxygen that the settlers will not be able to spare it. So what should they do in order to prevent themselves from oxygen toxicity?"
Patent No. 2573699 says that they should release the surplus oxygen into the atmosphere of Mars. This is the obtuse grain of Popov’s invention. Under bombardment from the sun's energy, oxygen will turn into ozone, and the desert planet will get its own ozone layer. That is when life on Mars will definitely emerge, albeit because the ozone layer will allow for more oxygen to be saved in the atmosphere….Yep, we're not sure if Alexander from Arkhangelsk has really thought this one through either.
Funhouse
Railia Bashirova from Obninsk (Kaluga Region) patented an extravagant way of improving your mood. Have you ever seen a mirror in a funhouse? It is the same, but just a new hi-tech version. The ‘patient’ is shown his own face distorted by a computer, and his own voice which is also distorted. According to patent No. 2574186, it makes everybody happy. In addition, seeing your own distorted face looking back at you can cure any heart condition you might have, improve your immune system and cure diabetes, according to the patent at least. Warning: if you do have diabetes do not on any account throw away your insulin and stare into the mirror while pulling funny faces!
Embossed Roads
In some countries road marks between traffic lines are embossed. It makes a car shake when it crosses them, and if a driver has fallen asleep at the wheel he could wake up from the juddering. But Alexander Zinkovsky thinks big. He has suggested embossing the whole road!
Patent No. 2576713 says that, first, it will strengthen tire adhesion. Second, it will reduce the braking distance. Third, it will make drivers more attentive. Unfortunately, the patent does not specify how drivers would react to ‘attentively’ bumping along for their entire journey. We can guess, but we won't put these words on a news site.
How to Pack a Terrorist
Victor Nebabin from Odessa got patent No. 2582054 for a system to neutralize terrorists. It works like this, a potential terrorist is detected by special video systems which already exist and operate throughout the world. Then the innovative part begins. First, the terrorist gets soaked with water. According to the patent, it will prevent the explosives from going off. Then the terrorist is captured by a net to immobilize him. And finally, “a special bomb shield with a hole on top for the releasing the energy from a possible explosion goes down on top of the terrorist” – and we are done. The terrorist is packed.
Unfortunately, the inventor did not explain, how the shield can get to the place where a terrorist was found. Perhaps, the only way is to cover the skies with such shields.
