King Charles III Refuses “Slimmed Down” Coronation Amid Cost-of-Living Crisis

“At a cost of tens of millions of pounds this pointless piece of theater is a slap in the face for millions of people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis,” an anti-monarchist protest group declared.

The UK’s King Charles has rejected pleas for a more modest coronation, royal aides have reportedly told British media, as an unprecedented cost-of-living crisis is forcing a shocking number of Britons out of their homes and into food banks.

Promising the planned celebration will be “a glorious advertisement for the UK,” royal aides reportedly told the Sunday Times that Charles is “actively involved and engaged in” planning to ensure his coronation day is “a thing of splendor,” with “pomp, pageantry, braids, brass and fly-pasts.”

The announcement effectively pours cold water on speculation that Britain’s monarchy would pursue a “slimmed down” coronation as more and more of the crisis-stricken island nation’s working people struggle to put food on the table.

With Britons facing double-digit inflation – the highest it’s been in 41 years – rising costs have pushed basic necessities like food, heating, and housing out of the grasp of hundreds of thousands of families.

“At a cost of tens of millions of pounds this pointless piece of theater is a slap in the face for millions of people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis,” the anti-monarchy group Republic wrote in a statement.

The group condemned coronation as a “celebration of hereditary power and privilege” which “has no place in a modern society” and promised to protest near Westminster Abbey during the proceedings.

Alongside concerns that the coronation could make the monarchy seem out-of-touch with the needs of everyday people, the royal family is reportedly also struggling to decide on an appropriate role for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

The pair has been engaged in a prolonged battle with much of the rest of the royal family over their scathing public criticisms of the monarchy — and the lucrative book, TV, and podcast deals they've garnered with them. The royal couple has reportedly netted over 100 million pounds from their self-promotional projects.

The Daily Mail reported Saturday that the royal couple is “unlikely” to attend a much-vaunted ceremony on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.