NYC’s Emergency ‘Go Bag’ Advice Featuring Teddy, Video Games, Rubber Ducky Gives Tweeps the Creeps

The Big Apple’s Emergency Management agency already gave residents the heebie-jeebies and sent shivers up their spines earlier this month after posting a seemingly out-of-the-blue video advising residents on what to do in case of a nuclear attack, including best practices to “keep radioactive dust or ash away from your body.”

NYC has given New Yorkers a new reason to panic, encouraging people to create an emergency “go bag” containing everything they would need if they have to “leave home in a hurry” for reasons unknown.

In a tweet, the agency stressed that “every household member should have” an emergency go bag at the ready, just in case, “including kids,” and encouraged residents to pack nonperishable snacks, bottled water, and copies of important documents.

A Go Bag has everything you need in case you need to leave home in a hurry. Every household member should have one, including kids. What will you pack?
- Nonperishable snacks
- Bottled water
- Copies of important documents
For more ideas, visit: https://t.co/Wgc9eiJRqf pic.twitter.com/igzdlTHbvF

— NYC Emergency Management (@nycemergencymgt) July 26, 2022

“If you have children, pack child care supplies as well as games and small toys,” the agency noted in an expanded list on its website.

The list seems to include everything but the kitchen sink, including a first aid kit and flashlight, cash, toiletries, portable cellphone chargers, aerosol tire repair kits, hand sanitizers and face masks for COVID (of course), and for those with pets, pet food and even pooper scoopers and plastic bags for poop cleanup.

The image accompanying the NYC Emergency Management’s tweet features a list of especially questionable items, including a Nintendo Switch and old brick Gameboy, books and school supplies, a puzzle, a teddy bear, beach ball, and even a rubber ducky for bath time fun.

Followers poked fun at the agency over the items featured in the list.

“When nuke [sic], bring teady bear,” one person quipped. “Few more items are missing: firearm, ammo,” another wrote. “My colostomy bag is my go bag,” a third person joked. “Nintendo Switch is what is important. I can go 2-3 days without water. But I can’t go 1 day without my Nintendo Switch bro,” another added. “No perishable items? Got it, packing a bag full of dildos,” yet another suggested.

Others expressed genuine concern over why the agency was talking about “go bags” after creeping everyone out with a video about what to do in case of a nuclear attack just a couple of weeks ago.

“In literature this is called foreshadowing,” one person wrote. “What’s on the way NYC? Do you know something we don’t?” another asked.

Others reminded their fellows of classic Hollywood movies on the fallout of a nuclear attack, including 1983’s The Day After and James Cameron’s Terminator 2, implying that a “go bag” would be of little value against a nuclear blast wave or the deadly radiation that followed.

“Umm…If you’re in a major city then don’t worry about the bag. You won’t be around to use it after a nuclear attack. A bottle of Breckenridge Bourbon is a better choice,” one person sensibly suggested.