Shower Masturbation is 'Pure Luxury', German Media Outlet Claims

Following Russia's military operation in Ukraine, many European countries, including Germany, have slapped harsh sanctions against Moscow and declared their intention to ban Russian oil and gas. However, this decision has significantly impacted Europe's utility and consumer prices.

German media outlet Bild has revealed that even simple pleasures like shower masturbation are now becoming a "luxury" due to a spike in utility prices.

The outlet calculated that women "do this" at least once every eight days and mostly grant at least 15 minutes to self-satisfaction in the shower. But such self-indulgence also means additional 660 minutes of water use per year - something that not every German woman can afford now.

"Masturbation with the showerhead is therefore pure luxury," concludes the outlet. "After all, 20.7 percent of women are just as environmentally conscious as they are thrifty."

This well-meaning drive to prioritise the environment and one's own wallet comes amid tense economic situation in Germany, with utility prices rising amid the Western sanctions on Russian oil and gas.

Having joined the West's push to condemn the Russian military operation in Ukraine, Berlin has already announced it is forging a contingency plan in the event of an abrupt halt in Russian gas supplies.

Following the anti-Russian sanctions, gas and power prices in Germany have marked an unprecedented high. The price of premium gasoline in Germany increased by 41.9% in March, diesel fuel by 62.6%, and light fuel oil by almost two and a half times.