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Decaffeinated ‘Coffee Joint’ Opens in NYC, Mocked by Java Lovers Online

© Swiss Water FacebookHighly Offensive Coffee Joint Opens in NYC
Highly Offensive Coffee Joint Opens in NYC - Sputnik International
For a week, an offensive pop-up “coffee” shop in Manhattan will undermine the entire reason we love our precious brew and serve people only decaf coffee, for no real reason at all.

The Swiss Water Decaffeinated Coffee Company, who prides themselves on stealing the caffeine away from perfectly good coffee beans, is responsible for this abomination, calling it “The Art of Coffee Without Caffeine.”

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"Be guided through a sensory experience that includes espresso, hand crafted manually brewed coffee and cold brew options. There will also be educational elements of how we remove caffeine from coffee with our innovative and unique 100% chemical free process,” a Facebook post from the cafe explains.

The “coffee” shop will be selling espresso, manually-brewed coffee, and cold brew, deprived of the one ingredient that the majority of us depend on it for. 

In 1933, Swiss Water created a new process of decaffeination which only uses water, instead of water and carbon dioxide, making it entirely chemical free as they remove the naturally occurring ingredient that hard working American’s covet the most.

The creation of this temporary coffee shop has lead many to take to social media and ask what’s next for this crazy company.

Twitter user Katherine Sprung stated, “I hear their next concept is an alcohol-free wine bar.”

The New York Eater called the cafe, “the first sign of the cultural apocalypse.”

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The Gothamist blamed all of Canada, calling the company “Canadian weirdos” who want to destroy the one thing that makes “colleagues moderately tolerable at 9 a.m.”

The pop up shop is being housed within a gas station that is set to be demolished soon, so at least New Yorkers can be satisfied in knowing that this horror is only temporary.

Luckily for New Yorkers, there is no shortage of companies willing to sell them the good stuff, with 212 Starbucks and 134 Dunkin Donuts in Manhattan alone.

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