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Americans Sign Petition to Preemptively Nuke Russia

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On the beaches of Southern California, the living is easy. Fish are jumping, the palm trees grow high, and apparently the pristine weather puts Americans in the mood to plunge Russia into a nuclear winter.

Best-selling author of "Inside the Illumanti" and frequent guest on History Channel’s "Ancient Aliens" series Mark Dice has made a name for himself exposing the hidden truths all around us. In his most popular YouTube video, he investigates pop star Lady Gaga’s possible affiliation with Lucifer. In his least popular he accuses pop star Miley Cyrus of being a "bisexual Illuminati porn star."

In his latest, Dice dons a skintight “Obama” shirt and hits the pier with a petition. The goal: to see how many beachgoers will sign a petition to preemptively nuke Russia.

"This one’s to support President Obama’s new plan to deal with Russia and their violating the UN sanctions, so we’re going to launch a preemptive nuclear strike," Dice says, imitating a left-wing Obama supporter/right-wing neocon.

"All right, I’ll sign it for you," one man responds.

"We appreciate your supporting a nuclear attack on Russia," Dice says.

The development and deployment of nuclear and conventional ground-launched intermediate range ballistic and cruise missiles was banned by the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty. Above: Tomahawk missile. - Sputnik International
Kremlin Strongly Concerned by Potential Deployment of US Nukes in Europe

"Sure, no problem," one woman responds.

"I hope he doesn’t disappoint me," a separate man says, signing his name and birthdate to the petition.

Dice doesn’t say how many signatures he actually got, but White House policy states that any petition earning 20,000 names will receive an official response.

Americans are either super trigger happy or don’t really listen to people who shove papers in their face when they’re on their way to the beach.

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